A few days ago Myleene Klass appeared on a TV show with Ed Miliband and ripped into him over a proposed new tax dubbed the Mansion Tax. This tax is a central idea in Labour’s plan to get back into power so you’d think that Ed would be able to argue for it. Especially as he wants to be the Leader of Airstrip One. But no, he sat there and was unable to counter Ms Klass’ arguments.
This was too much for the IngSoc PUBES (Professionally Upset By Everything). The Outrage Bus was started up and loaded with volunteers from the crack Offendotron brigade. Pretty soon, social media was filled with insults directed towards Myleene Klass; greedy, dim and cunt being some of the more polite ones. Interestingly, the Feminazis cadre of IngSoc remained silent. Gruppenfuhrer Penny Blackshirt explained “We remain committed to overthrowing the Patriarchy but we cannot support a successful, independent woman who questions the need for more turnips. Plus, she’s far prettier than the lumpen proletariat and we want to scratch her eyes out”.
Clearly guilt of Thought Crime, enraged IngSoc stormtroopers launched an online petition to get Ms Klass removed as the “face” of Littlewoods and stop her earning a living. Some 2500 brave martyrs signed the petition as an expression of their solidarity to the Party.
The moral of this story is anyone who questions the wisdom of the Party or it’s leader, Big Ed, is automatically guilty of Thought Crime and must be punished. Firstly, by vituperative public humiliation followed by removal of earnings. Second offenders will be sent to Room 101. Thought Crime double plus ungood. Punishment double plus good.
Pass me a slug of Victory Gin!