When the customer should be baitch-slapped


Apparently, people don’t like sully their hands with cash anymore according to 12% of UK don’t carry cash • The Register. All of them drink in my local….or so it seems.

Empirical research shows the non-cash brigade to belong to one of three types:

1. Females who seem to be surprised that they are required to pay so spend an eternity hunting through an over-sized bag to find the card and then can’t type in their PIN number without giggling or talking about a different subject to anyone in the vicinity. They normally order half of lager or, Lord help us, a bloody coffee.  Of course, the coffee can’t be white or black…oh no, its a double mocha, skinny latte, single decaff shot with a cappuccino topping. Then their mate does exactly the same as does the next and so on.

2. Young lads, usually with a woolen hat and low-slung jeans showing their Primarni boxers, who act so incredibly cool they would be impressive if it wasn’t for their dress sense which indicates a high dick-head quotient. Woolen hats in Summer-sheesh! Again, lager drinkers to the core who might actually buy a round if only their mates could make their mind up between Kronenbourg or Carling or Fosters….or should they have a Sol with that nice bit of lime jammed in the top?

3. The irredeemably pissed of either sex who have run of cash and, in heroic desperation, are trying to use the card while being unable to remember the bloody PIN. If they attempt to buy a round their memory is terminally over-loaded trying to mentally juggle the PIN and five pints of lager.

All of the above take an eternity to get served and annoy the beejasus out of normal beer-drinkers. Especially real ale drinkers who have sussed out it is a nice, quick, simple task to go into a pub, order a pint of real beer of their choice and pay for it in cash.

My advice? If you want a coffee, go to Starbucks. If you want to have a drink in a pub, go to the ATM beforehand. If not, normal people may well baitch-slap you to kingdom come.

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About ReidIvinsMedia

After working for many years in Higher Education I've decided to drop out and join the real world. Here I blog about my interests which include education, politics, backpacking, poker, photography and real ale.
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